At the start of February this year, I came down with a shoulder pain that incapacitated me for days. It was so excruciating that I could hardly lift a piece of paper. As it came on suddenly, I asked the Lord why. I heard Him say, “because you have frozen faith.”
I contemplated what He meant, and it dawned on me one night as I was crying in agony that He was very accurate. For many months leading to my dad’s death, with the passing away of a dear friend as well, along with my ministry work at an aged care where I need to prepare residents for end of life as part of my role as pastoral care practitioner, I noticed that my faith has been shaken to the point that I seem to now doubt or disbelieve in the healing power of God. To my mind, the natural progression of illness is death; at least, this is what the devil was taunting me of.
I asked for God’s grace of supernatural faith. I asked forgiveness for my sins and for mercy to experience His healing power once again.
On the fourth day of my illness, after going to the doctor and some tests done, I heard Him say: “Stretch your hand.” Initially in protest, I said that it was impossible as the pain was unbearable – even to move it slightly made me scream in frustration. Unable to use my right hand to brush my teeth, to eat with it, to text someone on the phone…I was so sad that I took many things for granted when I was well … Then I heard Jesus say again: “Trust and obey…”
I persevered with some howls of agony. Slowly I was able to move my shoulder and arm with less and less pain. Around the same time, I surrounded myself with healing services online and in one session, there was prophecy made on a frozen right shoulder and the pastor commanded: “Stretch your hand!” to which I also complied with amazement. How audible Jesus speaks if we only listen!
On the Sunday, I woke up with no pain. I could hardly believe it! To me, it was pure miracle as I know conditions like these could last for weeks or months.
My take in this experience? The Lord made me realise that He is still a healing God. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever and even if we go through rough patches in life, if we sincerely come to Him for healing, He is still interested and will manifest it to us.
“Death”, God said to me, is part of the natural order of life and He will call those whose time is at hand. In the meantime, we should not stop praying, repenting, asking for mercy, trusting in His goodness and faithfulness to heal us and make us whole again. This is His promise.
In some cases, when Jesus healed, He said to the recipient: “Sin no more…” He meant the same for me. This implies that I needed to look at my unrighteous and sinful ways, repent from them and start living a better life, which includes eating healthier food, exercising more, worrying less, sleeping well and overcoming some addictive behaviours.
I also need to claim His Word from Scripture which I use as my daily prescription whenever the devil attacks and weakens me with the next affliction.
To the Holy Spirit, after repenting for grieving Him, I asked once again for the infilling of those supernatural gifts that He alone imparts, most importantly the gifts of faith, healing, and miracles – three gifts I “deferred” when times were bumpy and uncertain for me, when disbelief and fear clouded my better judgement of God’s goodness, faithfulness and healing power. I can only thank Jesus for such great love!
“God very often digs wells of joy with the spade of sorrow…” (unknown author)
