Colours of Life
By Dina Mananquil-Delfino
I like watching shows like X factor that promote talents and give them the opportunity to shine in the competitive world of music.But I have also heard of the “Y” factor which means a lot in my caring ministry. If we look at the letter “Y” it seems to have two arms raised upwards and in the middle is a “valley”.
In life we find ourselves in a pit and the reasons could vary – we might have been pushed into it by external circumstances- loss of a loved one, a job, health, family or friends, financial security; or by others, when we are persecuted, manipulated, abused, victimised or rejected rendering us powerless; or by our own human weakness such as addictions, behavioural problems, unhealthy attitudes and wrong choices in life. How long we remain in the ditch can be short or long term or even permanent and will depend on our inner strength, support network such as family, friends, community, our faith or absence of it, to name a few.
Recently, I attended a suicide prevention workshop which was facilitated by the Wesley LifeForce. Suicide is a delicate subject that used to be brushed under the carpet. Yet data reveal that in Australia in 2011 there were about 2,379 deaths (about 7 suicides a day) and appears to be the highest external cause of death, greater than road toll and homicide cases. In Britain, according to Peter Hicks, author of “What Could I Say”, in 2000, there are about 275 attempts of suicide every day.
The 2013 ABS Report reveals that suicides affected people from aged 15 to 85+ and included males and females. Although it tends to be significant in regional, rural and remote locations and in areas of higher socio-economic disadvantage, suicide does not discriminate. The seriousness of suicide has impacted on our health care industry, which is now taking a more proactive approach in preventing it through awareness, education and training.
Health care professionals are indeed trained to intervene and work out strategies with the person in need, but often we find the first point of contact could be you as a trusted friend, a caring family member or a respected community worker. Keeping our eyes, ears and mostly our hearts open to listen to someone who is giving out signals for help can spell the difference. However, as part of self-care, we are reminded not to take the blame or carry guilt when it happens.
It has been declared a myth that suicidal persons want to die and there is nothing we can do to stop it. A person wanting to take his or her life wants to escape from pain, and if more losses are incurred can drive them further to despair. Is there an ache we can alleviate in someone today? That hug, that kind look, that warm touch, that extra time, the prayer you utter silently, the cuppa you offer, the genuine handshake, the stopping –for a-moment, all these are small touches that can embrace a despairing heart.
People contemplating suicide talk of that heavy, gloomy, dark cloud that looms over them.
We can feel inadequate, uncomfortable or even scared to handle a crisis such as this.
In my personal experience, a sincere prayer to encase the person with the grace, peace, joy and light of Jesus through His Holy Spirit can be the best thing we can do. Help them access the great love of God through us. Then we can ask Jesus to help the person get the right professional help and resources to assist him or her towards full healing.
Every life matters. We could be the hands that pull out (not push) our neighbour from the valley of their “Y”.
