Coming out of the closet

Fr. Loi Viovicente 

Dear Father Loi,

I come from a very religious Filipino family who migrated here in Australia. I noticed that Australia is more open to gay people. My family and friends do not know that I am gay and I want to come out in the open. Is being gay a disease? What do you think would be the reaction of the people close to me? Should I or should I not?


Dear Anonymous,

I thank you for voicing out bravely your situation. I could not imagine how difficult it is for you to hide your true identity for years. In the Filipino context, being gay is normally equated with being homosexuals or active homosexuals. I think that this is an unfair direct conclusion or direct judgment. There are those that are effeminate but not necessarily homosexuals. I have seen effeminate men who are happily married and responsible husbands. I have known effeminate priests who are very responsible and effective in their ministry.

In your case, you boldly say that you are gay and want to come out in the open. I do believe that nobody can stop you to come out and be yourself. Revealing your true identity will set you free, and I do believe that this is what you longed for in life, to be completely free. And of course being gay is not a disease, because gay people are also human beings who deserve respect and recognition like anybody else. Don’t mind what other people would say about you. For sure your family and close friends will be shocked at first, as normal reactions, but I’m sure they will accept you for who you are in time.

However, am reminding you that I’m not saying that you come out and paint the city red. What I’m saying is, I encourage you to come out and be yourself, and try your best to live a holy life. The challenge for you as you come out is to become a better person. After all, we are all God’s children and God loves us for who we are.

Found yourself in a dilemma or you wish to sort an issue that has been bothering you for some time? Maybe Father Loi can guide you with insightful and timely advice. Send him a note on

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