When was the last time you had a deep, honest conversation with a young person about respect?
Many of us – especially those of us who migrated from traditional cultures – grew up in households where certain things just weren’t talked about. Respect was taught through actions, not words. Questions were often met with silence or shrugged off with “you’ll understand when you’re older.”
In today’s fast-paced, online world, where young people are exposed to all kinds of messages, conversations about respect, gender roles, and healthy relationships are more important than ever. And these conversations need to start with us – parents, aunties, uncles, grandparents, and trusted community members.
Australia’s long-running Stop it at the Start campaign aims to prevent violence against women and children. As part of the campaign, two inspiring women – Jawoon Kim and Dr Marilyn Metta – shared their powerful stories to start vital conversations.
The importance of listening across generations
For Jawoon Kim, becoming a spokesperson for the campaign was deeply personal. As a Korean-Australian community organiser, she’s committed to building justice-rooted movements – and she sees this campaign as one way to close the gap between generations and communities.
“Creating feminist futures rooted in justice and equity requires collective effort,” she said. “The Stop It at the Start campaign is crucial for bridging the generational divides that might hinder having open conversations on important topics, such as gendered respect and social norms. By supporting adults in starting a dialogue with the young people in their lives, the campaign aims to foster intergenerational understanding and conversations.”
Her passion comes from lived experience.
“Growing up, I experienced instances of patriarchy firsthand – during holidays like Chuseok, I (and all the female family members) had to eat separately from male family members after they had finished eating.”
By becoming part of the Multicultural Influencers Collective (MIC), Kim said she saw an opportunity to directly address the challenges her communities face and help others reflect on how gender inequality is passed down, often without question.
It’s okay if you’re not the best messenger
Reflecting on her teenage years, Jawoon Kim recalled how difficult it was to navigate identity, relationships, and gender expectations without guidance.
“When I think back to being 15 or 16, I realise how little I knew about gender-based violence, respect, or even my own rights,” she said. “I would have benefited from an older sibling or a mentor – someone who could help me make sense of my experiences and how they connected to the world around me.”
She emphasised that adults don’t need to have all the answers – what matters is that they show up and create space for dialogue.
“Adults and communities need to work with young people in open, honest discussions about respect and gendered violence,” Kim said.
“As parents or parenting figures, you may not always be the best messenger – and that’s okay. There are many resources available that can help you start the conversation with the young people in your lives. You can also reach out to another responsible adult who can add to the conversation or support you in having it. Whether it’s a trusted relative, a mentor, or a community leader, reach out and co-create spaces where young people feel safe to learn, ask questions, and challenge harmful norms,” Kim said.
“These conversations are not always for you to ‘impart your wisdom’ to young people,” she said. “Hear what they have to say and their struggles, and find moments to share your stories to relate and reflect on how we can learn about respect and gendered violence together.”
Modelling respect starts at home
Dr Marilyn Metta, a trauma counsellor and human rights advocate, believes parents shape how young people understand respect, often through the smallest of actions.
“Parents have such a big role in children and young people’s perceptions of the world and how they make sense of and learn how to interact in the world,” she said.
She explained that how parents divide chores or speak to one another sends powerful signals to children.
“How fathers speak and relate to mothers, grandmothers and sisters at home teaches children and young people how to speak and relate to girls and women,” she said. “Boys and girls should be assigned chores in equal ways.”
Respect is also reflected in decision-making and shared responsibilities at home.
“Parents can also share their own personal experiences navigating gender roles and stereotypes,” Dr Metta added.
Migrant families live between two worlds – and that’s okay
For children from migrant backgrounds, Dr Metta says it’s common to feel pulled between family expectations and peer influences.
“Feeling ‘split’ between two worlds (their family/cultural world and the external world) can often be confusing for young people. , They may feel like they can’t bridge these two worlds that are important to them,” she said.
Dr Metta suggests that parents can ease this feeling by taking a genuine interest in their children’s social lives, showing curiosity, and being open to learning about their world.
She also encourages parents to support cultural exchange at home by welcoming their children’s friends, sharing food, traditions, and family stories.
Dr Metta also believes storytelling builds trust and deepens understanding between generations.
“It may feel a bit uncomfortable at first so start small with simple stories,” she said. “These conversations are a great way to build trust and also deepen understanding between parents and children.”
Empowering young people to say no
In a world where social pressures and digital influences are stronger than ever, it’s essential that young people know they have the right to say “no.” Whether it’s declining to do something a friend suggests, or feeling unsure about reposting something on social media, the ability to set boundaries is a vital life skill. It’s one that needs to be nurtured from a young age.
Dr Metta believes that parents can help children develop the confidence to make their own decisions and set healthy boundaries by leading by example. She encourages adults to share their personal experiences, including times they had to say no or set healthy boundaries, whether in social or professional settings.
So, why does this campaign matter?
Dr Metta believes the Stop it at the Start campaign matters because it empowers communities to have a positive influence on young people’s lives.
“The campaign is important because it recognises the role that everyone in the community can play in having a positive influence on young people’s lives,” she said.
She added that today’s young people face a constant stream of competing messages, which makes the role of supportive adults even more critical.
“Young people today are being exposed to so many different influences and messages, which can be very confusing… You can’t be what you can’t see,” she said.
Tips to get you started
- Start small – Ask your child how their day was. Be curious, not critical.
- Deep listening – Let them talk without interrupting or correcting.
- Share your stories – Especially the uncomfortable ones. They help build trust.
- Use free resources – Download Filipino-language guides from the campaign website.
Key takeaways in Filipino with English translations
- Simulan ang pag-uusap tungkol sa respeto at gender equality.
(Start conversations about respect and gender equality.) - Makinig nang buong puso at huwag matakot magbahagi ng sariling karanasan.
(Listen with your whole heart and don’t be afraid to share your own stories.) - Tulungan ang mga kabataan na magkaroon ng lakas ng loob na magsabi ng “hindi.”
(Help young people build the confidence to say no.) - Gamitin ang mga libreng mapagkukunan sa Filipino mula sa campaign website.
(Use the free Filipino resources from the campaign website.)
Visit www.respect.gov.au/filipino to download translated resources and begin meaningful conversations at home.
Let’s help raise a generation that leads with empathy, courage, and respect.
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This article was paid for by the Australian Government’s Stop it at the Start campaign.
