In my previous column, I shared that I went to the Philippines for my second trip this year in July; this time with 20 family members, to celebrate my brother-in-law’s 65th birthday and my 40th wedding anniversary, in the presence of about 100 immediate family members who all live in Tarlac. We had a spirit-filled event, blessed by a loving, generous God, as all our hearts’ desires and purposes were achieved after almost six months of organising and planning. We were supported by generous family and friends who made our trip comfortable, safe and enjoyable.
After the event, I found myself needing a pampering time, so I went to a skin clinic in Manila for a potentially routine facial. I had to discern well which clinic I would go to as I have a sensitive spirit, and some places unnerve me and disturb my peace.
This has been a result of my being healed from new age and occultism, which I did for 10 years. When Jesus set me free, the Holy Spirit gave me the grace to be discerning and not to open any unholy portal anymore. This means I need to be careful of places I enter and most importantly, what negative influences I would get from being there.
I asked for a sign from the Blessed Mother, as there were numerous choices of skin clinics. Finally, I was drawn to one clinic where an image of the Blessed Mother is displayed. My plan for a routine facial ended up with a derma treatment to remove my skin tags, facial warts, and age spots. I did not realise the extent of these growths until I came out of the clinic four hours later and was pockmarked by hundreds on my face, neck, chest and back!
Despite the local anaesthetic and constant reassurance of the skin technician, every jab was a “burning” sensation and although it lasted only a few seconds, it seemed like an eternity.
While I lay on the treatment table, I asked the Lord for the purpose of this exercise. I did not really plan it this way, but I ended up on this journey.
The Holy Spirit, gentle as He is, revealed to me that it was a time of significant repentance for the many “venial” sins I commit every day and if left unattended, would cause more infection and larger growth. Every painful “poking”, I asked the Holy Spirit to reveal to me those sins, though not mortal, are nevertheless causing me blockages and strongholds in my life. There were the sins of anger, jealousy, envy, unforgiveness, vanity, untruthfulness, pride, self-righteousness, the need to be in control, to be in power, to be right, and sometimes lack of kindness due to compassion fatigue or burnout, disrespect to hubby’s needs, the “me-first” syndrome, desire for comfort and convenience, more wealth and material things and success, being judgemental, and many more.
Now I could understand how the Saints felt when they shared about their need to mortify. When the Holy Spirit starts working in you, there is no condemnation but a conviction to repent and to do better. In Leviticus 11:44, we are even admonished: “For I am the Lord your God. Consecrate yourselves, therefore, and be holy, for I am holy. And you shall not make yourselves unclean with any of the swarming things that swarm on the earth.”
I took a photo of myself during these times of treatment, and it is true indeed that it felt like a swarm of bees stung me! I left the clinic, feeling raw, panic-stricken as to the aftermath of this choice of treatment, but when I remember the spiritual side to it, I accepted it as a journey the Holy Spirit wanted me to take.
When I came back home to Australia, one of the first things I needed to do was to seek the Sacrament of Reconciliation. It brought home the message that I could not let sin, no matter how small, grow bigger as it can become an infestation of the soul. And during that time of being born again, baptised in the Holy Spirit and with His fire in the year 2000, I was made a new creation, and thus need to stay away from sin.
In 1 Thessalonians 4:7: “For God has not called us to live in sin. He has called us to live a holy life. The one who turns away from this teaching does not turn away from man, but from God. It is God Who has given us His Holy Spirit.”
As I flinched from the pain and discomfort of every poking, I am reminded of our dear Lord, who gets so wounded by every evil we do. It has made me conscious that if I truly love Him, I will need to try my very best not to hurt Him or disobey Him.
In Galatians 5:19–21: “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
I know that I am not perfect but after my spiritual transformation in the year 2000 when the Lord opened my eyes to His abundant life, healing and freedom, I desire to inherit the Kingdom of God. Each day, I must give myself afresh to God. Watchfulness and prayerfulness against it will be the first steps. Then there is self-discipline. I cannot let vices intrude into my relationship with God and must be vigilant in keeping Him as my focus of devotion.
At the time of writing, I still have scars from the procedure. Jesus always reminds me – as I am weak and can fall anytime again: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9.
Are you battling with a physical, mental or emotional illness, pain or disease?
You can ask the Holy Spirit for the spiritual dimension of this affliction and allow Him to heal you. I take comfort from this verse: “He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
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