QUEER LIFE
By Ryan Perdio
After a quick and seemingly fleeting six months, it’s time for me to say goodbye to Tristan. And strangely, I feel quite sad to do so. But before you think that it’s only natural to be melancholic when it comes to partings and departures, let me just point out that Tristan isn’t a person. It’s an inanimate object: my car.
I’m lucky enough to be able to change automobile regularly as part of a lease agreement. In the last four years, I’ve gone through three different vehicles. It’s cost-efficient, tax-effective and definitely very cool. Not to mention, that new car smell gets seriously addictive.
Usually I have a whole year to play around with (and trash) said vehicles before the changeover occurs, which doesn’t leave much room for getting too attached to something that really is just a pile of metal and some rubber. But there’s something about this car that makes me that tiny bit reluctant to part ways with. Aside from the fact that it’s a fantastic piece of machinery to drive – not to mention that I look very cool in it – I think what it really boils down to is the suddenness of letting go. I thought I had at least a few more months.
It made me think about relationships in general and how sudden break-ups can result in acrimonious – and sometimes downright nasty – circumstances between people.
A friend of mine was recently dumped by his former partner on the day of their second anniversary. He didn’t even realise that anything was wrong until he went to meet his then-boyfriend to what he thought was going to be a celebration of their special occasion. Expecting a shower of hugs, sweet kisses and undying declarations of love, what he arrived to instead was the cold, harsh realisation of their relationship ending. Understandably, my friend was quite shocked and upset.
Part of the reason was the way things had unravelled between the two of them as he felt truly blind-sided by how it all had ended so abruptly. But mostly, it was the lack of opportunity he believed he was not given to try and fix the things in the relationship he felt was worth fixing; something he deemed quite strongly was owed to him. The unresolved feelings my friend had been left with certainly fuels the bitterness he now has towards his former partner.
And isn’t that the unfortunate crux to the whole sorry event? The lack of explanation and closure the one left behind is burdened with when such things happen so unexpectedly. It’s the relationship equivalent of purgatory or limbo.
On the other hand, however, would the opposite have made things any better? Would my friend have felt the same if he knew his break-up was coming? Would it have been easier if he had been warned in advance? Perhaps. Perhaps not. He doesn’t know. He’s busy trying his best to let go and move on.
Meanwhile, Tristan’s departure creeps ever closer. It may not have been the whole year I’m normally used to, but the last few months have been swell. Pathetic as it sounds, I’m actually going to be sad when I say goodbye. But before that happens – before I let go – I think I’ll take him out for one last ride. Vroom, vroom.
For comments or feedback, email r.perdio@yahoo.com.
