One of my favourite quotes from my latest book, My Heart and Soul Unplugged, reads:
“Love is beyond comprehension; no one can find the answer to how and why we fall in love. A mystery beyond the concept of science.”
Indeed, it is an accurate description of love.
I believe love is like a thief — sudden and without warning, it captures your heart. While thieves take material things, love overtakes your heart and can completely change your life’s perspective. Love is complicated: a strong desire to be emotionally and physically involved with the person you love.
Why do we fall in love? Perhaps it is shaped by psychological needs, past experiences, emotional attachment, shared beliefs, or admiration for someone who seems to fulfil our desires. However, in many cases, there is no clear reason at all.
According to science and research, falling in love is stimulated by three chemicals in the brain: noradrenaline, which triggers adrenaline and makes the heart beat faster; dopamine, which produces feelings of pleasure; and phenylethylamine, which causes the familiar “butterflies” when we are near the person we love.
Three stages of love
Love does not arrive in just one form, nor does it stay the same throughout our lives. As we grow, mature, and experience both joy and heartbreak, love evolves with us. From the innocence of first love to the depth of lifelong partnership and sometimes to love that arrives when we least expect it, each stage teaches us something about ourselves, resilience, and the meaning of connection.
First love
First love is often described as “puppy love,” especially when it happens during adolescence. While the term suggests innocence and intensity, first love can take many forms and does not always fit neatly into one definition.
For many, it is the most exhilarating and passionate love they will ever experience — a first encounter with intense romantic feelings and an introduction to what love is all about. This stage often unfolds during adolescence, when emotions and hormones are at their peak.
It is also deeply memorable: the first kiss, the first relationship, and often the first heartbreak. Some are fortunate enough for their first love to last a lifetime and lead to marriage. Others are left heartbroken and choose to remain single for years. Most, however, eventually move forward and discover the next stage of love.
True love (greatest love)
After a painful breakup from first love, we often focus on building our future — pursuing education, career, and personal growth. We become stronger, wiser, and more emotionally mature, with a clearer idea of what we want in a life partner.
Then, love finds us again.
Unlike first love, which is driven by intense emotion, this relationship is more conscious and grounded. It involves acceptance, mutual respect, understanding, and a deeper emotional connection. This is the love where happiness is shared, and the other person becomes your soulmate — someone you choose to spend your life with, often leading to marriage and raising a family.
For many, this love lasts for decades. Sometimes, however, life takes an unexpected turn through separation, divorce, or the loss of a partner. While some choose to remain single, others find themselves opening their hearts once more.
Unexpected love
They say love is lovelier the second time around, but I believe it can be even lovelier the third time.
Fifteen years ago, I attended a class reunion in the United States. Two former high school classmates — a widow and a widower — reconnected that evening. Love found them unexpectedly, and they have been happily married ever since.
Unexpected love arrives when we least anticipate it. This can also happen to those who are separated or divorced. However, when unexpected love occurs while both individuals are already in committed relationships, it becomes emotionally complex. Such situations require deep reflection, as the consequences affect families, spouses, and one’s own sense of integrity.
Sacrifices may be necessary, especially when there is already a loving and caring partner. Life must go on, but family remains everything.
As one of my unpublished quotes reflects:
“I would rather be hurt a thousand times than be devoid of the joy of loving and being loved in return.”
How about you — how many stages of love have you experienced?
Happy Valentine’s Day to all.
Excerpt from my book, “Reflective Contemplations”
Being in love, we rediscover our inner self
And the true essence of what love is all about
Finding love is magical — moments and precious time
Shared with someone we truly love
Finding love is priceless
Lorna Ramirez
www.lornasbook.com
